Car Talk.

Lars came to live with me six years ago. Lars took me on lots of adventures, hauling all my stuff and all my friends. Lars moved me from home to summer camp to home to college times four. Lars never moved fast, but he ruled the kingdom of Slow and Steady. Lars – the big, white 1992 Volvo, who got his name from the children’s book about Lars the Polar Bear. (Also, Lars is a great Scandinavian name for an old-man Scandinavian car.) Lars was very loyal and had an in-car phone, which elevated his cool-points by about 13.

Not my photo of Lars, but could have been Lars before he drove off the lot in 1992.

Old men who drive around Lars’ brothers and cousins loved Lars, too. They’d park next to Lars in the parking lot like we were a Volvo gang.

After 6 years of hauling me around and 24 years of life, Lars mostly died. When I called my bestie to freak out, she said, “Doesn’t Lars know we’re having a wedding?! THERE IS NO MONEY. NOW IS NOT THE TIME.” …Exactly. 

Suddenly, I had to be a big responsible Adult and find a new car. Thus began the most stressful and terrifying process of my adult life so far.

The following list includes some, though not all, of the stressful and overwhelming and expensive moments I experienced while obtaining my new ride:

  1. Insurance. I’ve been chilling on my parents’ car insurance plan up until now, and I loved it. Why would I pay for insurance if I don’t have to?! Now I have my own, and it’s expensive.
  2. The One. Finding the right car that is a perfect combo of semi-affordable price, acceptable milage, gas efficiency, and hopefully physical attractiveness is kind of really hard. 
  3. Sales People. That’s all.
  4. More Loans. I just added on to my college debt. But really, it’s just more money I don’t own.
  5. Signing Stuff. I signed about 357 forms. My blood pressure was too high to be healthy. I kept wondering, “Shouldn’t there be an Adult doing this?!”


And here’s the upside: After all of these scary things and probably a few more that I’ve repressed from my memory, I own a car. The lights on a little Mazda3 hatchback blink when I hit my new key fob. It has rims that are too cool for its own good.  I chose it, I filled it with my CDs and sunglasses and extra jackets, and I will name it something cheesy once I bond with it a little bit more. (Suggestions now being taken for the name. It’s a boy.)

While I try to avoid the things that are overly Adulty, this was inevitable, and probably needed to happen. Especially since I’ll soon be living in southern California, where the cars need to go a little faster than a max of 67 mph.

So cheers to Lars, and whatever other adventures he has left in him, and here’s to getting to know the new car, He Who Is Yet To Be Named.

Most Adult thing I did today: I BOUGHT A CAR (ok not today, but recently enough to qualify because I’m still a little freaked out about it)

Least Adult thing I did today: Cocoa Puffs are an important part of a balanced breakfast, right?

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