I write from Beautiful San Diego, sitting outside in a perfect 75 degrees wearing a t-shirt and jeans – a far cry from my typical October weather and wardrobe in the Pacific Northwest. And as I sit in the weather of paradise, I look around and see people wearing, I kid you not, cashmere sweaters and zip-up jackets. While I am slurping down my iced coffee, the sweater-clad locals are sipping their hot Pumpkin Spice Lattes and White Chocolate Mochas.
These observations bring me to a question, a confession, and an Adulting epiphany.
My very deep question is this: How are these people not dying of heat stroke in their expensive layers?
The only theory that I can come up with to answer this question is that San Diegans must just be too spoiled with sunshine and 80 degree weather that anything below 77 degrees is call for another layer. Which I don’t understand because I’m from Oregon, and when it’s 60 degrees in October we can’t shut up about the great weather. We keep on drinking our iced coffees until we have to put on gloves.
So here’s my confession: I don’t really like Pumpkin Spice Lattes. I don’t even like Pumpkin Pie.
I know… I know!
“How can you not like a Pumpkin Spice Latte?! You’re a white girl…”
“You don’t eat Pumpkin Pie on Thanksgiving?!” “Are you even American?!?” (To which I reply, “I eat Apple Pie on Thanksgiving, which is VERY American.)
I always blame my dislike of Pumpkin Pie on the texture. It weirds me out. This explanation doesn’t account for my aversion to the PSL, though. It’s just never really done it for me. I acknowledge that I must be of the very few who feel this way. The PSL has over 600,000 Instagram posts to prove that it is The Official Sponsor of Fall.*
If you’re one of the dedicated fans of all things Pumpkin Spice, please know that I’m not judgmental of your love of the revered PSL. Let’s go get coffee! I’ll take a Dirty Chai any day, and I look forward to the arrival of the Peppermint Mocha every holiday season. Just please don’t expect me to get excited about a Pumpkin Spice Latte with you.
Which brings me to the epiphany: All of these Adults sipping their venti Pumpkin Spice Lattes gives me the sudden realization that maybe one of the best parts of being an Adult is putting our dessert in a cup and calling it “coffee.” Let’s be honest – we cover a shot of espresso in milk and flavored sugar and say that it’s “what we need” because “it’s coffee, and adults need coffee.” I’m totally onboard with this perk of Adulthood. I mean, I’d feel guilty eating a candy bar, but if it’s just fancy coffee, and I use non-fat milk, it’s practically good for me! Look at me, saving calories all over the place. I’m very responsible and Adulty like that.
And come Christmas time, you better believe I’ll be swigging down a non-fat Peppermint Mocha whenever the need arises. Adulting win!
So welcome, all you Pumpkin Spice Lattes. We raise our cups to you, Carmel Macchiatos. Peppermint Mochas, we fly through our Christmas shopping on your wings. Cinnamon Dolce Lattes, we salute you with our Starbucks Gold Cards.
Here’s to our “Coffee”. And here’s to Adulting.
*combined search for #pumpkinspicelatte and #psl
Most Adult thing I did today: Ate a salad because it’s “good for me.”
Least Adult thing I did today: Consciously chose to avoid looking at my bank account to see the lack of moolah I possess.
Author’s note: All desserts mentioned in this post are capitalized out of respect for their sugar content.